Up In Smoke – Johannesburg Guest Writer

TRUE CONFESSIONS OF A RECOVERING DRUG ADDICT

MY NAME IS JOSE PEREIRA-LUIS AND THIS IS MY STORY OF 38 YEARS OF DRUG ADDICTION.

I WAS BORN IN JHB ON 26.07.1963.MY PARENTS WERE LOVING AND WE WERE BROUGHT UP WELL .I WAS THE OLDEST OF 4 BROTHERS SO MY BROTHERS LOOKED UP TO ME .PRIMARY SCHOOL WAS SO COOL I PARTICIPATED IN MANY ACTIVITIES SUCH AS KARATE AND JUDO.I ALSO EXCELLED IN MY SCHOOL WORK.

I STAYED IN BEZ VALLEY AND MOST OF MY COUSINS WERE OLDER THAN ME AND ALL BELONGED TO THE MOST POWERFUL GANG IN JHB.

WHEN I STARTED STANDARD 6 I STARTED SLEEPING OUT OUR HOUSE TO GO OUT WITH MY COUSINS AND THE GANG.I STARTED DRINKING AND STARTED SMOKING MARJUANA WITH THE GANG SO I COULD BE IN WITH THE OLDER GUYS.THE SENIORS IN THE GANG TOOK TO ME AS I WAS SCARED OF NOTHING.

I WAS ALWAYS IN FIGHTS AND INVOLVED IN GANG RELATED ACTIVITIES.

I SMOKED MORE AND WAS ALWAYS HIGH AND STARTED BUNKING CLASSES.

THE FIGHTS WERE ALWAYS BAD AND WE USED BASEBALL BATS ,KNIVES AND EVEN GUNS.IT WAS A WILD TIME .I REMEMBER ONE SATURDAY NIGHT I WAS OUT WITH THE GANG.IT WAS ABOUT 4AM AND WE WERE GOING FOR FOOD WHEN WE SAW A RIVAL GANG AT THE SHOP.THE SENIOR MEMBERS LOOKED AT ME AND TOLD ME TO GO CAUSE TROUBLE SO THEY CAN FIGHT.

I THEN APPROACHED THE BIGGEST GUY AND STARTED SWEARING AT HIM.HE HAD A BIG SURPRISE FOR ME AND PULLED OUT A SAWN OFF SHOTGUN AND HEARD HIM COCKING IT.BEFORE HE COULD SHOOT ME I DUCKED BEHIND A PILLAR AND LITERALLY SHAT MYSELF.I HEARD THE GUN GO OFF AND THE BULLET HIT THE PILLAR AND RAN ALL THE WAY HOME .AT 13 THIS WAS THE SCARIEST THING FOR ME AND STILL NEVER STOPPED.

AT THE AGE OF 16 I HAD TO PROVE MYSELF TO BE A GANG MEMBER AND HAD TO GO THROUGH WITH A CEREMONY.I WAS TOLD TO ATTACK A MAN AND ROB HIM ON MY OWN.I DID THAT AND I MUGGED A MAN THAT NIGHT WHILE THEY WATCHED.THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I COULD NEVER GET OVER AND I HIT HIM TO HARD AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLED THE MAN.I WAS SO HIGH IT DID NOT BOTHER ME TILL YEARS LATER.I FOUND IT HARD TO FORGIVE MYSELF.

I PLAYED RUGBY AT SCHOOL AND WAS GOING ON TRIALS FOR THE 1ST TEAM

AND I GOT KICKED ON THE HEAD AND HAD A EPILEPTIC FIT ON THE FIELD .

I WOKE UP IN SANDTON CLINIC WHERE ENDLESS TESTS WERE DONE ON ME TO GET ME ON THE CORRECT MEDICATION.THE INJURY CAUSED SEVERE HEAD AND BRAIN DAMAGE.I WAS FORCED TO LEAVE SCHOOL AT AGE 17 AS I COULD NOT STUDY AS I HAD MEMORY LOSS.THIS MADE ME FEEL DIFFERENT AND I FELT USELESS.MY ONE AUNT WAS 1 OFF JHB BIGGEST DRUG DEALERS.SHE DEALT IN DAGGA,LSD AND MANDRAX.

BECAUSE OF MY EPILEPSY I STARTED USING HARDER DRUGS.BETWEEN THE AGE OF 17 UP TO 25 I WAS HIGH DAILY ON DAGGA AND MANDRAX.AT A STAGE I WAS SMOKING 50 PILLS A DAY AND WAS TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.THIS HABIT COST ALOT SO I STARTED STEALING.

WE THEN MOVED TO PRETORIA AND I WENT TO THE ARMY.I WAS 18 AND HAD TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS BUT EVERY WEEKEND I WAS IN JHB BUYING DRUGS FROM MY AUNT AND SELLING IN PTA.I GOT WELL KNOWN QUICKLY

BY ALL AND THE POLICE.ONE WEEKEND I WAS BY MY AUNT AND ALL OF US WERE SITTING AROUND AND SMOKING PILLS.MY AROUND 3 AM HER BOYFRIEND SUGGESTED THAT ME AND HIM GO ROB A FEW HOUSES FOR MORE DRUGS.I WAS SO HIGH I REFUSED AND HE WENT ALONE.AT APPROXIMATELY 6AM MY AUNT GOT A CALL FROM THE POLICE TO INFORM HER THAT THEY CAUGHT HIM BUT HE RODE OFF.THEY CAUGHT UP TO HIM AND THEY SHOT OUT 8 MAGAZINES AT THE CAR AND HE WAS KILLED .LUCKY I DECIDED NOT TO GO.

I BECAME A BIG TIME DEALER IN PTA AND HAD POLICE ON MY TAIL ALWAYS.I WAS ALSO INVOLVED WITH MANY ILEGAL ACTIVITIES BUT WAS NEVER CAUGHT.I STARTED TO SNIFF COCAINE AND THIS WENT ON FOR A YEAR.ONE DAY I WALKED INTO MY DEALERS FLAT IN HILLBROW AND SAW A GIRL SMOKING A CRACK PIPE.I SAW HER INSTANT HIGH AND TOLD HIM I WANT SOME.HE SOLD ME SOME AND I SAT THERE AND SMOKED.THAT WAS IT I WAS HOOKED.I LEFT THE NEXT EVENING AFTER SPENDING R5000.FOR THE NEXT 12 YEARS IT WAS HELL,I SMOKED UP TO R3000 PER DAY SO I HAD TO STEAL ALOT.IN 11 YEARS I SMOKED OUT 9 MILLION RAND.I WAS ALWAYS ON THE MOVE.I REMEMBER ASKING MY BROTHERS FRIEND TO TAKE ME TO MY AUNT TO MAKE A SCORE.WE WERE 5 IN THE CAR TO JHB,WE SAT AT HER HOUSE SMOKING AND I GOT 5 BANK PACKETS WEED,7 MANDRAX AND 5 LSD.AS WE WALKED OUT THE GATE THE COPS PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD.MY AUNT MANAGED TO GET BACK IN THE HOUSE.THEY FOUND THE DAGGA AND TOOK US ALL TO YEOVILLE STATION.WE ALL STOOD IN A LINE AT THE CHARGE OFFICE AND I MADE A STATEMENT IT WAS MINE SO THE OTHERS COULD GO.I THEN REMEMBERED ABOUT THE OTHER DRUGS I HAD .NOBODY WOULD HELP ME TAKE IT SO I HAD TO TAKE IT ALL.I WAS VERY HIGH FOR 3 DAYS.

BETWEEN AGES 19-29 I WAS ENGAGED 6 TIMES .AT THE AGE OF 30 I GOT MARRIED FOR THE 1ST TIME.I WORKED FOR 7 YEARS FOR A COMPANY AND THEY CLOSED DOWN.I GOT R75000 OUT.I WENT TO MY DEALER IN JHB AND SPENT IT WITHIN 2 WEEKS I WAS BROKE.AT THE AGE OF 42 I WEIGHED 42 KG

AND MY HEALTH WAS DETERIORATING.I SAW A DR AND HE GAVE ME A MONT TO LIVE.I REALISED I HAD TO STOP AND WENT TO REHAB I STAYED THERE FOR 3 MONTHS GETTING BETTER.I WAS BARELY OUT AND I STARTED USING AGAIN

I SUBSTITUTED THE CRACK WITH KAT.ALSO AN ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCE THAT IS SNIFFED.WHILE MARRIED TO MY SECOND WIFE HER SON IN LAW WAS A METRO DRUG SQUAD AND HE LIKED ME SO I USED HIM FOR DRUGS.

THINGS WENT SO BAD I WENT TO REHAB AGAIN.I WAS 3 WEEKS IN AND WAS OUT FOR A WEEKEND AND GOT NEWS THAT MY BROTHER 18 MONTHS YOUNGER THAN ME PASSED AWAY IN A CAR ACCIDENT

I JUST STARTED USING MORE AND ENDED THAT MY FAMILY DISOWNED ME AND MY WIFE LEFT ME.I WENT TO A HOMELESS SHELTER FOR 6 MONTHS.

MY FAMILY STARTED GETTING CLOSER TO ME AND I DECIDED TO GET OUT THE SHELTER AND GET A JOB WHICH I DONE.BUT I DECIDED WRONG AGAIN AND THAT WAS THAT I STILL WOULD USE DRUGS BUT NOT STEAL FOR IT.

IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT FOR ME TO WRITE ABOUT EVERY REHAB, COP STATION,THERAPISTS,SUPPORT GROUPS ETC.I WORKED HARD AND PLAYED HARDER.I ROBBED A NIGERIAN IN HILLBROW WHEN I WAS 26 AND SHOT HIM AND THE COPS EVOKED MY GUN LICENSE.LATER IN LIFE AT 47 AFTER ROBBING MANY MORE I HIT A JACKPOT.I GOT ENOUGH DRUGS FOR A ARMY AND NEVER SLEPT OR ATE FOR 2 AND A HALF WEEKS.AND SO MY LIFE CARRIED ON HIGH AS A KITE DAILY .I HAD NO FRIEND AS I DIDN’T WANT TO SHARE MY STUFF,AND HAD THE ODD SHORT RELATIONSHIP.AS MY STORY GOES THAT FOR TO MANY YEARS I PUT MYSELF THROUGH HELL AND BACK.MY FATHER PASSED AWAY ON 22 JANUARY 2014.I PROMISED HIM I WOULD TAKE CARE OF MY MOM.I THOUGHT I WAS BUT IN REALITY I WAS TAKING MORE DRUGS AND ALWAYS ON MY OWN MISSION.IN THIS TIME I MET A GIRL AND WE BECAME FRIENDS AND SHE ACCEPTED ME AS I WAS .BUT A MONTH AGO I DECIDED I NEED TO STOP FOR GOOD IF NOT FOR MYSELF FOR MY MOTHER AND MY GIRLFRIEND.

I ASKED MY GIRLFRIEND FOR HER HELP AND SUPPORT.SHE DID JUST THAT AND I MUST SAY IN HER I HAVE A FRIEND FOR LIFE.MY MOTHER IS STILL SKEPTICAL BUT I HAVE MORE TO LOSE NOW IF I SLIP UP.I KNOW I AM NOT PERFECT BUT I KNOW I MUST BE SPECIAL AS GOD HAS GIVEN ME ANOTHER CHANCE AT LIFE.

I AM NOW 1 MONTH CLEAN OF HARD DRUGS.I CAN REALLY SAY THAT I WONT USE AGAIN IT HAS BECOME AN EVIL IN MY EYES AND I SEE WHAT A DIFFERENT PERSON I AM NOW.

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY FAMILY AND ALL THAT HAVE TRIED TO HELP ME IN THE PAST.I WANT TO TO THANK MY BEST FRIEND MANDY FOR BEING WITH ME AND SUPPORTING ME THROUGH ALL MY PAINS AND HARDSHIPS.YOU MIGHT NOT REALISE YOU SAVED MY LIFE AND I AM SO GRATEFUL.

JUST REMEMBER JUST BEING THERE FOR SOME ONE HELPS THEM .

LIFE CAN NEVER BE EASY AND NOBODY CAN TELL YOU THAT YOU WILL STILL BE HERE TOMORROW.NEVER BE AFRAID TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT AND ALWAYS HAVE DREAMS.

MY DREAM IS TO BE A DJ.I LOVE MUSIC AND MIXING MUSIC TO SOUND GREAT.I HAVE BEEN CLEAN NOW FOR 2 MONTHS .IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY AND IVE KEPT MYSELF VERY BUSY ON THE LAPTOP ON VIRTUAL DJ.I HAVE HIT 50 HOURS OF MIXES AND SOME ARE REALLY AWESOME.MUSIC HAS ALSO BEEN A GREAT PART OF MY RECOVERY.BUT MOST OF ALL ITS THE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT HAVE WORSE PROBLEMS THAT THAN WE CAN IMAGINE.IT IS THESE PEOPLE WE SHOULD SAY A PRAYER FOR.

SO LIFE.IT IS NOT AT ALL BAD IT IS WHAT YOU DO WITH LIFE.

I THANK AND PRAISE GOD FOR THIS NEW LIFE I HAVE.

THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY

JOSE

 

 

 

 

Addicted and Homeless in Cape Town Part 2

We welcome contributions from people in all stages of addiction. This is a guest post from someone currently homeless in Cape Town that we are trying to help.

Addicted and Homeless in Cape Town Part 2

Just another DRUG ADDICT ON THE STREETS OF CAPE TOWN whose nights – one–eye open nights – are now so much longer as I travel into day. Let me tell you, my first visit to the social worker at Somerset Hospital was all but pleasant, but before we get to that, a friend of mine had paid for me to stay at a venue for the weekend and during that time, I came across these very pertinent words that I share with you on the left.

Addicted Cape TownYes, the much anticipated visit was a complete and utter disappointment. All I was hearing was that I must understand that it can take up to 9 or 14 months to get into rehab and that I in any case will have difficulty getting in because I have a pending case for possession. That this fact could have a negative impact on my being allowed into rehab or not went above my head (especially as my next court appearance date was for 6 months hence and rehab only plus/ minus ⅔ months) It hit me me then like a ton of bricks- SHOCK!FACT! This wasn’t going to be as easy as the Billboards with Patricia’s face on for when I was doing favours in exchange for getting then clients into rehab centres.

Well, this is what the social worker present that day suggested I do, fill in the forms and come see me next week. If you are not happy then see the head of the Department (Well, now we are getting somewhere, I stupidly thought before he utters “who just so happens to be on leave”.

When one is on drugs, one exhibits certain behavioural patterns and anti-social behaviour that is usually not part of your sober make-up as a human being-and believe ALL ADDICTS display these, irrespective of upbringing, education or social standing before the drugs: We all become master liars,
manipulators, deceivers and ultimately thieves-and it’s easy because you justify every single word and deed-there is always someone or something to blame for you being at this point of desperation. With this in mind I have to wonder how the powers that be can use this to deny an individual wanting to go into rehab that opportunity. I for one, already had to face a charge of possession, did they want me to do even worse and first get arrested for theft before they realise what I already know.

I am systematically removing myself from society and destroying any possibility of reclaiming my name and reputation in society. But I bite the bullet and wait out my visit to the Department Head.Well, I am still containing myself in not going off about the ridiculous state of affairs when it comes to service delivery by both government and non-governmental but state funded organisations mandated to perform certain functions on behalf of the government and of course the general public’s apathy and complacency towards this.

The honourable mayor of Capetown, Ms Patricia de Lille – Mayor of Cape Town, at one point in reference to the growing masses of people living on the streets of Capetown and the effects thereof, said to the public in general;: “you deserve them!”. At the time I thought, what the hell does the woman mean, but she is right. Because if you just accept something and keep on accepting the status quo, then you are ultimately keeping it exactly that “status quo”! The mayor was referring to the general public dishing out two and five rand coins indiscriminately, irrespective of the
effect it might have on that person’s life and mine is similar, if we accept the horrendously rude, pathetic and policy defying behaviour by those working for the organisations (both state and state funded), then we are in effect deserving of it. Well, my dears, I am sorry, I WILL NOT!

But it being a lovely day today and my story with my current mission in life well on track to fruition (after I spent days on end up and down between hospitals and social development – departments in order to finally get someone to understand the urgency thereof and give me the medical report that was still required but had originally been in the file but had also mysteriously disappeared into space but was also required to be back in the file before 15h00!) I did it!

Despite the obstacles of an ill social worker (I would be sick too if my staff treated me the way hers do), the lack of concern for the priorities of the office and its clients by these two individuals left running her office – they were off to more important things than helping the three clients that had patiently sat waiting through their lunch hour, followed by their “ward visit”only to then be told they unfortunately could not spend time with us now as they are off to – a colleagues farewell! The last thing I had on my mind was “spend time with them”, I just wanted my folder so I could sort out their mess! and then had to go beg a poor already thinly drawn out doctor in casualties to complete the form from scratch! But I said I would not labour the issue, so without further mud slinging, and God alone knows I have the fullest right to mud sling! I have to praise and give  thanks to those within these organisations and the system that have gone the extra mile for me in my fight against the dreaded “D”-DRUGS!

Firstly all my supporters including most of the ward councillors I have worked with during my time at ELIM- YES! who keep inboxing little notes of huge support-too many to name-and you know who youare, then officially:

  • Ms. Carmen Titus (Head Social worker at Somerset Hospital) and Ms. Aishia Bassardien (Social worker at DSD Capetown),for probably getting so sick of me at their offices every day that within 17 days arranged for me to go into rehab at The De Novo Treatment Centre (a state funded rehabilitaion centre in Kraaifontein)
  • Mr Russell Gregory Kinnear (De Novo), your limitless energy for my challenge is inspiring and I owe you a huge bouquet! Thank you! I was accepted for a drug rehabilitation at De Novo Treatment Centre .

Now one would think, nothing else could go wrong! Ha! we are talking an addict here. I was mean to patiently await a call that would tell me to report within so many hours to DeNovo. I got that call at 16h30 on the 21st of November 2014 and the great news was I had to get myself there
by 8pm or would be excluded from the program. What do I do? call the dealer stock myself up on CRYSTAL METH AND GHB and go by train instead of the private cab that was arranged for me.

Addicted Cape Town drugsBy the time I arrive in Kraaifontein at aprox. 19h30, I am trashed. I get robbed of all my belongings, land up at the police station and arrive at De Novo Treatment Centre at 02h15! I thought to myself, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and I am stuffing this up pretty nicely after all the nagging and irritation I caused people just to get in, but as ultimately we don’t really have a choice in these matters and His will be done, De Novo accepted me at 02h15 on 22 November for a 90 day rehab program.Christmas and New Year’s n Rehab…….to be continued.

Addicted and Homeless in Cape Town Part 2 is over.

For addiction help contact us today. We genuinely want to help people recover from addiction and will help wherever we can.

 

Addicted and Homeless in Cape Town Part 1

We welcome contributions from people in all stages of addiction. This is a guest post from someone currently homeless in Cape Town that we are trying to help.

Addicted and Homeless in Cape Town

Addicted and homeless cape townIt has come to that point where I, in order to have any hope of ever becoming the Carlos Mesquita that I one day hope to be remembered as have to put my false pride in my back pocket and look you all square in the eye and say that I, Carlos Mesquita, the Head Boy, the A-class student, the Record Company owner , the past Administrator of Elim Night Shelter and the liaison officer for City of Cape Town’s Department of Social Development, well, that I too, am an ADDICT!

I have again silently and without much fight slid back into addiction. Except this time, (yes, I have been here before- well, yes, different substances, different city, different circumstances but addiction never the less.) And so what do I do differently this time, to ensure that I am not just trying to fool myself into believing everything’s going to be OK!

I am not going to hide it!

To hide it would be to deny myself the opportunity of reclaiming my life and I refuse to again be kept back due to fear- Oh, what will people think? What will people say? You know what? I don’t give a damn.They won’t be saying something I haven’t already told myself a thousand times over in any case.

This time round the drug of choice has become GHB, (or Gamma Hydroxybutyrate. GHB is abused by a huge and growing number of CapeTown’s more affluent gay and yuppie communities – at bars, parties, clubs and “raves” or at group sex parties, which I can guarantee you, with the rise in the use and popularity of crystal meth – or Tina, as it’s popularly known ,together with it’s now popular counterpart, GHB or “G” by the more affluent and suburban dweller, are being held in at least every second or third street in every suburb in Cape Town.

Crystal Meth Cape TownG is often placed in alcoholic beverages. Euphoria, increased sex drive, and tranquility are reported positive effects of GHB abuse. Negative effects may include sweating, loss of consciousness (reported by 69 percent of users), nausea, hallucinations, amnesia, and coma, among other adverse effects. I can testify to having landed up unconscious at Somerset Hospital last year a total of four times. All four times, in ICU in a coma. GHB looks just like plain water – except it tastes horrific – you can almost imagine your insides being eaten away by the nauseating smell of this fluid.

The devastating effects it has had on my own life, (especially last year March- October) made me come to the realization, that I am not only destroying myself and the memory of the good I have done, I am also hurting the few people that still care about me and pretty soon will in other ways probably be hurting others I don’t even know.

I have of course during my addiction, I had to scale down in terms of living arrangements : down from self-owned properties to hired apartments, to hotel rooms, to backpackers, to shelters and now the streets of Cape Town – a city which to me, 5 years ago, meant: Wynchester Mansions, Theo’s and Villa do Mar. By now, you will have guessed that my other drug of choice this time round is Crystal meth!

Addicted and Homeless in Cape Town

Of course for the criminally minded, especially those guys and girls in the sex trade, this combination has become somewhat of a handy little tool of the trade as they ensure their client takes a little too much “G”, passes out and these individuals can then proceed to steal at the heart’s desire for up to six hours without interruption.

Cape Town Crystal MethAfter what was surely an embarrassing (from the little I can remember) episode on the streets of Greenpoint on a warm and busy November Friday night, ( I can only imagine the spectacle I made of myself in full view of the Friday night party pack), I realized something had to be done – by me and me alone!

I eventually came to and into consciousness on Saturday morning, just before 5am, not remembering my name or surname or where I stayed or anything prior to that moment-it was frightening to say the least-I had no shoes on my feet and I was dirty! I was locked up in the parking garage of the Game Centre in Cape Town’s Central Business District near the station. I walked round and round in circles for hours outside of the Game Centre as all my brain could process was the activity I had just performed and then I would repeat it: talk about going nowhere slowly!

It was only at around twelve that day that my long term memory returned to me and then my short term memory started playing up! Scary! Well, that and the humiliation of people starring at me and talking about me so obviously as I sauntered down Somerset Road into Main Road towards Sea Point – most assuming I was drunk!

That afternoon at 5pm, I walked into Somerset Hospital’s (very un-impressed TRAUMA unit -where by now, all the staff knew me well, and the doctors and nursing staff made no secret of their displeasure at my very self destructive tendencies. By that day, I had been brought into their ward on a stretcher on a number of occasions and although they initially showed great concern, by now they had no more compassion to waste on one so wasted!

This time, however, I wasn’t on a stretcher and all I wanted was their assistance to get me into a rehabilitation program as soon as possible. After all, all around me were bus shelters with mayor of Cape Town, Patricia De Lille’s face and her message about the effects of drug abuse on the user and friends and family.

Cape Town DrugsSurely, if I was honest and sincere and asked people to help me, me, Carlos, the man who spent most of his time and energy on the rehabilitation of others who were themselves struggling with addiction and the negative impact it had on their lives, I would be OK!

And at this point, I would like to publicly apologize to the staff of Somerset Hospital’s emergency and casualty ward for my often very difficult and rude behavior and I want to especially thank Dr Erasmus and all the other doctors, nurses and staff who have had no choice but to be privy to my often pathetic and self destructive behavior, thank you for helping me with that first step and your referral.

Although it took an immense amount of begging and pleading, I finally got to see the social worker on the Monday and by the grace of God still have people in my life, that I know I have hurt deeply (especially because of my in denial lies and deceit) that were at the time still willing to invest in me as an individual, be it in time, money or concern. I will never forget how excited and convinced I was that by that Thursday I would be in rehab and the future was again looking bright.

I am sure even THIS confidence forms part of what I can only refer to as a: “I am God syndrome”, which drug addicts tend to suffer from. Even at such a crucial point I refused to face the reality of my very dire situation,

I am JUST ANOTHER HOMELESS DRUG ADDICT ON THE STREETS OF CAPE TOWN whose nights – one–eye open nights – are now so much longer as I travel into day.

Addicted and Homeless in Cape Town Part 1 is over.

For addiction help contact us today. We genuinely want to help people recover from addiction and will help wherever we can.

Alcoholics Anonymous – Daily Reading

We get sent these readings daily by our friends in recovery and thought it may be an idea to share them. We hope they help you.

Alcoholics Anonymous – Daily Reading

Wednesday

GUARDING AGAINST DISGUISED HOSTILITY

Fairness  One of the pitfalls in continued recovery is a tendency to become self-righteous and judgmental.   Sometimes this fuses into a hostility directed toward newcomers or chronic “slippers”.     Now and then,    we’ve been grumpy older members demanding that  those who slip get honest.

While we may be right in concluding that a person is not showing honesty,  we have not right to denounce or expose anyone in a group setting.  Far from helping the person,  we may be showing off.  If there is hostility in our words or manner

the other  person will certainly sense it.

The best group setting for good recovery is always one that expresses warmth,  acceptance,  and understanding.  There are few,  if any,  times when a verbal assault can be justified.  Before we lash out at another person’s lack of honesty,  we must take an honest look at our own motives and feelings.

I’ll face the day with a feeling of goodwill and acceptance in any dealings with every person I meet.  If I attend a meeting,  I’ll show the same warmth and acceptance toward every person there.

I WILL TRY TO STAND

FOR FAIRNESS.

I WILL RESPECT MYSELF

AND OTHERS.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Alcoholics Anonymous – Daily Reading